BIG Big 10 Rant

Alright, lets first talk about this supposed ‘Big 10 expansion’. The Big 10 has clearly stated that it wants to expand the conference. Hmm. Sounds somewhat interesting. The first overall idea was to grab Missouri in there because Missouri already has a big rivalry with Illinois. “Oh yes! Lets do that!” No. We can’t. Then the Big 12 will have 11 teams and we will be back where we started. “Oh! You can just add some team like Utah, Texas Christian, or some other Mountain West team into the Big 12! Then we will have 12 teams in both! (Minus the Mountain West, however, nobody really cares about that conference.)” Okay, yes. Why don’t we do that. Sounds like a plan, I am up for it. But in that certain situation when none of the teams either want to leave or join their respected conferences, we are screwed. So, lets look for a deal. Maybe, just maybe we can get Rutgers or Pittsburgh in there. There are many options of what we can do that would make geographical sense and work out. Oh but no, the Big 10 is going for drastic measures to add Notre Dame to the conference. Hmm, good idea. They are in location, but they DON’T WANT TO JOIN. Why Notre Dame, why? Do you prefer to be in NO conference at all in football? Guess you do. Then I have no clue why but the Big 10 wants Texas in their. No. No. No. That is not going to happen. Why would they leave the Big 12? No sense at ALL. Then you are just killing me Big 10. Putting a cap in my brain. Please stop talking about adding 16 teams to the conference. That just messes it up even more. The Big 12 would be eliminated, Texas would be in the SEC. The SEC would have 16 and the Pac 10 would also. Some say this would make great sense. Which in some ways it does. However, it is just to complicated. Just add one more team please Big 10. Please. Do it for your own sake. Do it so critics stop making fun of you for having no football conference championship. Do it for Joe Pa Big 10, do it for Joe Pa. (See picture below).

Then we come up to another BIG Big 10 problem. Big 10 basketball. Hopefully I am not the only one who thinks it is the not only most boring conference in the history of the world, I think every team in it sucks too. Minus a few on some occasions. Lets discuss the games. First of all, almost every game scores in the low 60’s, 50’s, or even 40’s. 40’s? What? Middle school basketball games score more than 40 points Big 10. Middle school basketball games do it with 6 minute quarters also. You have 20 minutes and you come up with 40 points? This is madness. (Looking for a comment of “THIS IS SPARTA”). Big 10, you even had a game Illinois vs Penn St. where the final score was like 39-34 I believe. COME ON. Are you kidding me? A guy even got caught on camera saying “I WANT MY MONEY BACK.” And you know what Big 10? I praise that man for saying that. Who wants to go to a game where the scores are THAT low and all that is being played is half-court style offense? Half-court style offense that is extremely slow that wastes the whole shot clock, passes the ball around excessively, has an abundance of caucasian guards and/or big men, and worst of all, has the WIDE open dunk, and you lay the ball in for a soft two pointer, you know just in case. NO. NO. NO. “Oh! Evan Turner is soooooo good!” No he really is not. At all. All he does is softly take it in, receive a soft little bump and score the lay up to put Ohio State up by 2, 54-52 in the season finale. Oh, what a game! Evan Turner! My lord! No, that game sucked. It started at 12 o’ clock, was broadcasted by Steve Lavin (see picture below), and was just a bunch of passing and no entertainment what so ever. I WILL give it to Michigan State for being unbelievable in the NCAA tournament and making the final four, but not doing to its expectations in the regular season. I WILL give it to that one Illinois team that was pretty good with Deron Williams and that fellah with the cornrows.(see picture below). I WILL give it to that Michigan team with Chris Webber and Jalen Rose that was awesome. I WILL NOT give it to the Ohio State team with Greg Oden and Michael Conley that lost to Florida in the finals. No, this is not bias. This is not bias at all. It is true. That Ohio State team was pretty good, however, still Thad Matta(see picture below) was not. He still, even with a very talented team, decided to run the most boring sets and have the most boring games possible to man. (NOTE- not including cricket). This is the worst, I remember getting all hyped for Ohio State vs Wisconsin in one of the last games of the regular season for both teams. Ohio State was #1 and Wisconsin #2. Well guess what? I turned it off at half time because the score was in the low twenties. “Who cares? It still was a good game!” No it wasn’t. They missed shots, passed up shots for more passes, and had a lay up instead of a dunk. Final score? 48-46.

Illinois- Boring, so boring, one of the worst if not the worst in the Big 10. Would score a 10 on the boring scale. As a future RD fan of the day would like to say, Connor Lakofka would say “Get outta here Illinois, the door is right there.)

Indiana- One of the top programs based on tradition. Still pretty boring. Don’t get me started on Bob Knight.

Iowa- No, you suck.

Michigan- Basketball going through hard times, not very good anymore.

Michigan State- REAL basketball team. Sorry Michigan St for you being in one of the worst basketball conferences. You have a great coach in Tom Izzo.

Minnesota- Another good team. I like them. They are not as boring as the others and are one of the best on the non-boring scale. However, they are broadcasted by Steve Lavin a lot.

Northwestern- Who are they again?

Ohio State- (See above). Worst. Flat out worst. Most boring. Agh.

Penn State- No, you suck.

Purdue- Pretty boring, not as boring. Have good players. Think they are amazing. Well, wait till reality hits you, not going to play out so well Robby Hummel. (See picture below)

Wisconsin- One of the worst, just get 7 foot white guys that can shoot and a good point guard. BOOM, there is Wisconsin for you.

SCALE OF BORING- 1 is the worst, 11 best.

1. Ohio State

2. Illinois

3. Wisconsin

4. Northwestern

5. Iowa

6. Penn State

7. Purdue

8. Michigan

9. Indiana

10. Minnesota

11. Michigan State

NOTE- If you skip Northwestern through Penn State, that will be the correct rankings. Nobody really watches Northwestern, Penn State, and Iowa. Also, this is only basketball (above).

Big 10 football- REALLY good football conference, especially when all three of its best programs are good. When Penn State, Michigan, Ohio State are good, you’ve got the second best conference in the nation behind the SEC. Add in Iowa and Illinois as a threat, then you still have got the second best conference, but you are a little better. Add one more team, add a conference tournament, then you will be right up there at the top Big 10, I promise. ONLY in football though. Don’t get too excited.

Don’t expect that smile to still be there when you lose in the tournament, Robby.

Do it for JOE PA!

Get off my TV, Steve Lavin

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3 Responses to BIG Big 10 Rant

  1. hahahahahhahahahhahaha

  2. Jack says:

    THIS IS SPARTA!

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