– Yes, it is true… Me and Siri are getting married next week, and JR is the best man. I thought I would just quite all of the rumors now.
– Well, Kentucky lost to Western Kentucky in football over the weekend and I have really nothing else to say other than we are probably going to need a new coach. I don’t wanna talk about that game. I just don’t. Hey! Jerry! Stop pressuring me to talk about it! Too far FAQ guy, too far.
– The Reds have one of the best records in baseball. What? You got bored with baseball updates the first week of May? Oh, well same here.
– Big one on one match between Nerlens Noel and Stone Cold Willow tomorrow at the Blue Courts. Real goons play at the Blue Courts including JR and BD, and this should be a fantastic matchup. I wish I had enough time to break down the pros and cons of each players game and give you a preview, but I don’t. I am predicting a Stone Cold Willow victory by 3 points over Noel. Young Willow got game. I mean, the real T. Jones taught him about Kentucky and ballin’.
– A Redskins player is getting death threats on Twitter, which is also a case of taking things too far. Just like the whole FAQ guy joke earlier. Hey! I got 1-liners fa-dayz! Don’t ever say that word again. Ever.
– Nothing else going on today, just giving you a quick heads up on the latest news. Now some sleepy Van Morrison.