We Want Prenup, We Want Prenup’s Tuesday Prenup

What does this rando pic of Gerald Ford have to do with this post?? Nothing at all!

– Yes, today is prenup day here on RD.  It has been awhile since we posted on here, so RD made JR and me sign a prenup in case anything happens in our relationship.  I think we are ok, but RD made us do it.  What’s a prenup!?!? Just go look it up for yourself.  

– Well, since we last posted, the Reds pulled a typical Cincy playoff choke.  JR’s theory of Cincinnati sports teams in the playoffs is held up.  It looked (after going up 2-0) that the Reds would be the favorite to win the World Series.  Now, they are out of it, and everyone has gone back to not caring.  Wait, you say you didn’t care in the first place?  Oh, same here, I was just afraid to say it.  

– Ozzie Guilen was fired today.  Oh, yea, I forgot about how much you care.  Sorry to bore you…

– Ndamikingkong Suh I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!!! had a very dirty hit on Jay Cutler last night, ripping his helmet off in the process.  I hate Jay Cutler and think he’s an all-american prick, but hey it was a pretty bad hit.  I’m surprised Cutler didn’t fake another injury, like he did in the playoffs last season.  Brandon Marshall was not too thrilled, and he defended his quarterback.  Brandon Marshall should stick to getting 2 fantasy points a week….

– We want prenup!

– JR’s boy Chicharito had two goals today in Man Utd.’s game.  Go Chicharito!

– They are trying to get the rims lowered in women’s basketball.  I would be down for the idea, because it would be funny to watch women attempt to dunk on each other.  And Hot! Not if Brittany Griner is out there…. That just makes it easier for her to dunk.

– Now I will leave you with some random Heart.  No! BD! I have Spades! But I do like me some Barra-Barra-Barracuda! 

 

The Redlegs Tuesday Night Taboo

EWW!

– Wait, FAQ guy! The one time I let YOU choose the picture you don’t even get the right redlegs! I thought! I thought that was right! I really NO! That’s not the right redleg.  I’m talking about the Cincinnati Reds!  Could you be more dumb!

– Ugh. Still can’t get over that.

– Speaking of the Redlegs, the Reds are currently tied in the 9th inning 1-1 to the Giants.  They just need one more victory to move on to the next round, and Chapman is striking everyone out.  Like a moral victory!? Stop. You are suspended for a week.  UPDATE: Extra Innings.

– My favorite night of the year is tonight.  No not because baseball is actually mildly interesting for 2-3 innings, but the BET Awards are on!  While they aren’t live, you still get to listen to your favorite artists such as Rick Rozay!

– Mr. Sandusky got 30 years.  That is all. 

– That was the first time we have ever talked about Jerry on the site, and also the last.

– I think its going to be Jakeboy’s hero, Tim Tebow time up in New York.  The Jets are 2-3 and the most famous punt protecter/waterboy in the NFL may get a shot at quarterback.  Marky-Mark Sanchez hasn’t been able to produce lately, so they might have to pull Tebow off the practice special teams squad.

– Well since I mentioned Marky-Mark, why not give the fans a little Marky-Mark?  Eh? Wadda say! I’ve been watching way to much baseball, I’m sorry.

Go Dream Team!

Sargent Shriver’s Malicious Monday Moves

Sarg!

– What does Sargent Shriver has to do with this? I don’t even have to answer that.  Sargent Shriver was George McGovern’s running mate in the 1972 election.  Of course his mate (and chum) lost the election to Nixon but Shriver was a great American.  He was even the U.S. Ambassador to France!  I doubt that the millions really care FAQ guy…

– Well the Seahawks are playing the Packers are playing tonight, and B-Doggy-Dogg lion is hoping for a big game from Rodgers.  #beatJT.  AY-YAY-YAY-YIPPIO-YIPPI-YAY- THE B-DOGGY-DOGG IS IN THE HOUSE! No, I was not in the “lab” or the “studio” or the “boof” with Dr. Dre or Snoop Dogg Lion in ’01 but if I was I would say that line.  

– UK got massacred over the weekend and dropped the infamous “goose egg.”  Craig “Auto” Macintosh cannot make a field goal to say his pretty little soul.  Also, Morgan Newton is not a quarterback.  Just saying, if you didn’t know by now.

– Seabass Janakowski nailed another game-winner over the weekend.  We all knew he could do it, and he is Oakland’s only reliable offense making him one o B-Lions favorite players.  Seabass clearly likes getting “huge” because he is “huge.”  Good one 2 Chainz! Alright, FAQ guy, I’ll give you that one.  That was pretty good.  Finally some recognition! Shut up.

– I heard that Dakota Euton and Jai Lucas are committing to ITT Tech school of criminal justice for next year.  Sorry, that’s just the rumor mill.

– We are all finished here, but of course I have a vid for you!  I might be really far behind on this, but I just saw this video this past week.  Plus, it has almost as many views as the population of America, which is kinda a lot.  I really don’t know how I didn’t see this sooner, but maybe you fellahs haven’t either.

A Siri Love Affair and Stone Cold Willow’s Wednesday Notes

Willow

– Yes, it is true… Me and Siri are getting married next week, and JR is the best man.  I thought I would just quite all of the rumors now.

– Well, Kentucky lost to Western Kentucky in football over the weekend and I have really nothing else to say other than we are probably going to need a new coach.  I don’t wanna talk about that game.  I just don’t.  Hey! Jerry! Stop pressuring me to talk about it! Too far FAQ guy, too far.

– The Reds have one of the best records in baseball.  What?  You got bored with baseball updates the first week of May?  Oh, well same here.

– Big one on one match between Nerlens Noel and Stone Cold Willow tomorrow at the Blue Courts.  Real goons play at the Blue Courts including JR and BD, and this should be a fantastic matchup.  I wish I had enough time to break down the pros and cons of each players game and give you a preview, but I don’t.  I am predicting a Stone Cold Willow victory by 3 points over Noel.  Young Willow got game.  I mean, the real T. Jones taught him about Kentucky and ballin’.

– A Redskins player is getting death threats on Twitter, which is also a case of taking things too far.  Just like the whole FAQ guy joke earlier. Hey! I got 1-liners fa-dayz! Don’t ever say that word again. Ever.

– Nothing else going on today, just giving you a quick heads up on the latest news.  Now some sleepy Van Morrison.

 

Fred McFeely Rogers’ Tuesday Night Taboo

Cardigans!

– Fred McFeely Rogers, better known as Mr. Rogers was born in 1928. Mr. Rogers is the most well-known children’s show in all history, and it also provided for one of the creepier TV shows and hosts during its run.  What is more creepy than a man in a cardigan hosting a children’s TV show.

– Well UK frankly got killed by Louisville on Sunday.  #Sundayfunday was not very fun for the UK defense.  Frankly the UK defense sucked.  They really sucked.  Hey, did I mention they sucked.

– D4!

– Just kidding no one cares about D4.

– The Honey Badger does care enough to enroll in classes at LSU.  There is no timetable for his return to the football.  He should start attending classes soon, but we know, just like Julius Peppers, he probably does not have to do very much.  I mean the man doesn’t care.  Wait, has that joke been worn out yet? I don’t think people have used it enough lately.

– Man, baseball is really intense right now!

– Sorry JT.

– Just like the backup quarterback is the most popular person on the roster, the backup fantasy football commissioner is the most popular in the league.  People never seem to like their commissioners. (ahem, DC, change the league settings, please)

– I find myself pulling for Andy Roddick in his final U.S. Open.  I just really want him to win.  C’mon Andy, c’mon! Now, how bout some Stones?  I can’t hear you! How bout some Stones?? WOOOOOOO!!!! YEAAA!!! STONES!!

Smooth Summer Showcase, the Final: Ralph Carlisle

Triple Threat!

– When you think of UK basketball, you immediately think of Ralph Carlisle.  The man was two-time All-SEC, in his only two years at the school.  Soon after James Naismith created the game of basketball, a young Ralphie would practice tossing peaches and apples into baskets for fun.  Occasionally he would steal watermelons, so that he could practice with bigger objects, much against the will of his mother.  Carlisle went on to coach his alma mater, Lafayette high school to a few state championships during his run in the 1950’s.  He was also once featured in Bottle Tops in Lexington’s 10 richest Lexington basketball coaches.

– Augusta National accepted their first two female members today, accepting Condoleezza Rice as one of their members.  They did have to go into downtown Augusta to ensure that they had spelled her name right.

– The Titans named Jake Locker-Boxer as their starting quarterback.  I’m sorry to bore you, but it is a pretty slow day.

– If you need to buy or sell NBA tickets, the NBA league office is creating a website for you to do it.  Thanks ESPN! That totally deserved a headline.

-Since it is a pretty slow news day, I’m going to leave you with a double dose of videos.  Yeah! Videos! This is like Double Jeopardy! A classic movie scene, and man does Demarcus Cousins love dribbling between the legs!

Smooth Summer Showcase: Alex Groza

– Well folks, believe it or not, we have reached the end of the summer.  This means that we here at the RD headquarters are wrapping up our Smooth Summer Showcase, with only one more edition upcoming.  Hey! Summer doesn’t officially end until next month!  Who let him in?  JT? Was it you? JT! Come back here boy!

– Bio Blast: Alex Groza was a member of the 1945- 1949 UK basketball teams.  He was later banned from the NBA for point-shaving in college. To hell with David Stern!  Alex also won two national championships and is considered one of the top ten players to play at Kentucky.  His brother, Lou Groza, was an NFL kicker, and has the end of the year kicking award named after him.  Though not convicted, Alex was reportedly investigated by the NCAA for receiving improper benefits from Adolph Rupp.  The NCAA alleged that “Rupp gave Alex 15 cents for a ham and cheese sandwich, along with a soda pop” during his recruitment.

– Moving on, ESPN really should call a doctor, because they have been covering Tebow’s every move for more than 4 hours.  Did you know that Tebow turned 25 yesterday?  Well if you had turned it on ESPN yesterday, you would have quickly found out.  It was the second story on Sportscenter, and Skip Bayless dressed up as a wise man and made Tebow a birthday cake.  ESPN took little Timmy to a bowling alley last night to celebrate his 25th, and even allowed Skip Bayless to forever have a Tebow memory, by allowing him a picture with his idol.  

– Chad Johnson Ochocinco Johnson was arrested for head-butting his wife, and then he was released by the dolphins.  Smooth move Ochocinco Johnson.

– Did you know it was Tim Tebow’s birthday????

– Now I give you a video of Demarcus Cousins dribbling through Marquis Jeff Teague’s legs. Have a fantastic day.

Smooth Summer Showcase Part V: Adam Williams

Look at this Hoss-cat.  Get it, because he played for the cats…

– Yes, you are reading this right.  Who is Adam Williams you may ask? Well, Adam Williams played on the 2006 Kentucky team and then transferred to Marshall the following year.  As you can see, the man was a stud on and off the court.  He got every loose ball in practice, tried harder than all the others, and worked overtime in the gym to get stronger.  You may say that this describes every white basketball player ever, but Adam Williams was not your normal “workaholic.”  He cheered hard for his teammates on the sideline, and was always the first one off the bench to congratulate teammates.  Oh, wait, I guess he was your typical white player…

– The Olympics are in full swing.  Did I use that phrase last time.  Yes!  Do you want to taste this palm in your face? No!  Thought so.  Merica’s leading the medal count if that even means anything.  To me, if you have 600 athletes you should lead the medal count.  Clearly the Independent Olympic Athletes are not going to win, because there is 4 of them... Michael Phelps broke the record for most medals, which makes me wonder what he does with all of them.  Does he just throw away is bronzes… I mean he doesn’t need them…

– Let’s just say that beach volleyball has been a big letdown because it has been to cold to wear bikinis.

– On a non-sports related topic, Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion, which also baffles me.  I guess Snoop Doggy Dogg Lion is going for a more reggae look, even though he is abandoning the name that made him famous.  I’m going to miss my Snoop Doggy Dogg. I guess it is just a Lion-y Lion world now.

– The Reds have the best record in baseball.

– So in honor of Snoop Lion, a little reggae to finish us off…

FAQ guy special: Here’s another picture of Adam Williams!

I don’t think that’s the right one…

Smooth Summer Showcase Part IV: Souleymane Camara

– Welcome to Part IV! What? You say sequels aren’t as good as the originals?  Well clearly, my friend, you haven’t seen Souleymane Camara’s Smooth Summer Showcase.

– Souleymane, also known by his CIA name as Jules, Camara, played in the early 2000’s.  He had to redshirt his Freshman season in 2000 after breaking the schools alcohol policy. Years later, he broke the governments alcohol policy by drinking and driving.  He apparently was driving alone and jumped into the back seat when he got pulled over claiming he was not the one driving the car.  I believe that deserves a smooth summer showcase…

– JR’s back in the States! Everybody celebrate! Jump Around! FAQ guy, I thought you were on probation from this site, and, I HATE Sir Mix-A-Lot. It gets the people going! 

– RIP Doron Lambs uncle!  But follow his Aunt forrea… She needs followers…

– Need more “…?” Good.  Because I’m not giving you anymore.

– Of course Penn State is taking over the news, and Stephen A. Smph and Skip Bayless are going at each other about what they think about the punishments.  Hey, at least we won the 1999 Outback Bowl by default!  Stone Cold Willow is the 1999 Outback Bowl Heavyweight Champion! #kentuckyrattlesnake

– Ichiro got traded to the Yankees, because the millions out there really care.  Well guess what Yankees, what do you have to say about this picture?  Taken from @sportsguy33. It actually is a pretty good picture.  Suck it JR!

– Well that’s it for today.  Were just celebrating JR’s return back into the New York Groove.  Oh, yea, and this…

– Conseguir que la acción deficiente de aquí, Sanchez.

Davis

Smooth Summer Showcase Part III: Derrick Miller

YEE-HAW!

– That’s right ladies and gents, its your main man BD, all back up in here.  I’ve learned some new slang since the last time we saw each other.  Your other main man JR is still in some South America cartel country at the moment, but he should be back soon, so don’t miss him to much.

– That’s right, it’s Derrick Miller, not Durius Darius Milller.

– The NBA summer league is in full effect at the current moment and the UK guys are doing pretty good.  Nappy Boy Derren Doron Lamb went off for 20 against Derrick Darius Miller’s Hornets.  Miller dropped 11 like it’s hot, so drop it like it’s hot.  Alright FAQ guy can we please stop quoting the Snoop Doggy Doggy aka the D, O, double G…. Someone knows their Snoop Doggy Dogg….Please, shut up FAQ guy, shut up.

– Enough dashes yet? No!

– Anthony Davis is on the U.S. Olympic team after Blake Griffin’s injury.  He didn’t see any time against Brazil in their last game but that is because the game was close.  I still am wondering why and how Carmelo Anthony finds himself in the starting lineup over Kevin “Durantula” Durant.

– The Open Championship, also known as the British Open is this week and BD is excited.  Hopefully Tiger, Tiger Woods Y’all can pull this one out.

– The baseball season is in full swing at the moment.  JT’s boy Joey Votto is injured and will be out for a month, which is really making it harder for those Redlegs to stay in first place.  David Ortiz injured his foot rounding the bases on a home run and will be out awhile.  Also, @joeybatts Jose Bautista got injured.  Injuries all around!  This is a big week in baseball, as we are past the all-star break.  Only 872 games left for the Reds since we are now halfway through the season.  

– No. One. Cares.  Let’s get onto more interesting things… Like the Sugarhill Gang!

Smooth Summer Showcase: Jeff Brassow

– Bio Blast: Jeff Brassow was a playa player on the 93-94 Kentucky basketball team.  He played a key role in the 31 point comeback with his great play enthusiastic cheering from the end of the bench.  He was also rumored to “know” or have “relations” with an unknown players girlfriend.  That’s the word on the sidewalk. (See what I did there)

– Well, hey! Were back in the New York Groove for a little Smooth Summer Showcase.  How’s everyone’s summer? Terrible! Good for you FAQ guy. Good for you.

– No TV commercial I do not want to go to Southern New Hampshire University.  There is a reason no one attends that school.

– Brandon Phillips got an inside the park home run.  I posted that just for our boy JT.

– The Mets’ R.A. Dickey threw his second straight one hitter.  Sucks for him.  He just can’t seems to eliminate that one hit.  What a poor outing. Shut up.  Just shut up.

– Webbie Webb Simpson won the U.S. Open over Graeme McDowell and Jim Fu-Fu-Fu-Furyk.  Of course the most exciting thing about the whole event was the rooster guy videobomb at the end.  It was a fantastic move by the rooster guy.  But in the words of Webb Simpson, “Enjoy the jail cell bud.”

– Roger Clemens was found not guilty of lying to congress, even though we all knew he did.  Wait, didn’t we also all know that Casey Anthony killed her kid and O.J. killed his wife?  That is too far FAQ guy.  Too far.  I am banning you from this website for 2 days.  That means that yourrrrrrr…. MOVING OUT.  And take you Cadillac-lac-lac-lac-lac with you….

Smooth Summer Showcase: Rekalin Simms

– Hi! I’m BD.  Nice to meet you.  Some of you may notice the new title “Smooth Summer Showcase.”  What could that mean BD, you say.  Well, young FAQ guy, it is a little experiment that BD is putting together.  Since the Summer is a slow time for us here at the RD headquarters, I thought we will do a little something new.  Throughout the summer I will be bringing you a different long lost UK basketball player as the title/picture/bio blast of the post.  Of course, these players won’t be the well known players, they will be the unique players.  So let’s start off post 1 with one of the greatest of all time, Rekalin Simms.

– Rekalin Simms played in the early 2000’s for both UK and UGA.  He best known for getting arrested many a time.

– I invented instagram!  Come buy my catheter! I’m a honky tonk man! Ugh.  No FAQ guy.  That’s not funny.  It has been used before, therefore it is no longer funny.

– Well UK obtained a new indentured servant transfer by the name of Julius Mays.  He is an excellent 3 shooter, and is the missing piece in our 250 piece grandmother puzzle.

– Tambein  Also, JT was very happy yesteryearday as Joey from Friends Votto hit a walk-off grand slam.  Go Redlegs!

– Think you have had enough lines through my words?  Let’s send it to someone that knows a whole lot about lines.  And by lines I mean hypothetical lines.  And by hypothetical lines, I mean lines that are illegal things.  And by that I mean Cocaine.  And by Cocaine, I mean lines of cocaine narcotics…. Get it! Hah!

– That man is Robin Williams/Rekalin Simms.

That is all.

Adam Morrison’s Tad Too Thankful Tuesday Taboo

Cheer up Adam! It’s the Tad Too Thankful Tuesday Taboo!!

– Man, Adam Morrison had one hell of a moustachio back in the day.  I was searching for forgotten college basketball players to fill the role of the Tad Too Thankful Tuesday Taboo’s notes, but I was unsuccessful in really finding any great ones.  So, since I had Adam Morrison hanging out in my basement reading naughty magazines  in my back left pocket, I decided to just use him.  He looks pretty cool.  TJ Ford, maybe you can make a different post.  I just didn’t think you were ready for the job.

– I thought of pairing Adam with Josh Hamilton.  The ex-Red from a long time ago just went off on dem foo’s hitting a record 4 home runs in one game.  He had 8 RBI’s also.  In other news, I hit 4 home runs with the tennis ball in my backyard once.  It’s not that hard to do.  I was suppose’ to be a franchise  playa.  (see below)

– Adam Morrison is just out thur’ doing it big in his Nike Aurs and Crispy Tees.  No FAQ guy, I have banished the use of any Chingy song on this website.

– Moving on! Ron Artesting for Major World Peace says that he did not call James Harden after elbowing him in the face.  He said that as long as he was healthy, there was no reason to call him.  Well, yea, other than that kinda small reason that you elbowed him in the face.  

– Jeremy Lin is likely out the rest of the Heat/Knicks series like it matters at all.  It doesn’t matter at all.  If they put Jorts in, they would probably win, but no Jorts=no win.  

– TNT just showed a cut in of Birdman eating a quesadilla before his upcoming game against the Lakers.  They could not have picked a more random person to put the camera one, and they could not have picked a more random object for Birdman to be holding.  No one would be surprised if it was a heroin tattoo needle, but a quesadilla?

– BTW, yesterday was the 10 year anny of this, so I couldn’t pass it up. How the hell could I make my teammates better by practicin’?